


every time i think about it, i can barely breathe.

by orphan_account



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Backstory, Snippet, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas Barrow knows: time is the enemy. Short songfic for the prompt “It’s hard to tell until you look a little closer. Then you can see right through ‘em” (The Sadies, The Trial).</p>
            </blockquote>





	every time i think about it, i can barely breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> [For this prompt](http://onionjulius.tumblr.com/post/29464378912/i-will-take-your-character-paring-prompt-but-i-cant)
> 
> . I ended up trying to incorporate lyrics and themes from the song instead of play to the particular lyrics prompted.

While the indignity is bad, and the longing is bad, and the sore feet and hungry stomachs, all bad, the worst is time.

Thomas doesn't explain this to O'Brian. She knows better than him, the old bag.

Time is more the enemy than any well born son of a lord. Thomas' seventh autumn comes and goes at Downton, and nothing's changed. Well, O'Brian's got some new wrinkles on her, and the youngest Crawley girl finally grew tits, but besides that, he's still doing the same job he did when he got there. He's just doing it faster.

Faster than bloody William, that's for sure.

"Such a sweet little boy," Patmore says, like he climbed out of a beaming cherub's own arsehole. Patmore makes William's favorite soup that night. Thomas hopes he drowns in it.

There was something sweet in him once, hidden under all the cruelty, waiting. In the first few weeks with William, sweet, good, incompetent William, Thomas feels it die.

The Duke of Crowborough shows up that week. Good bloody timing. Thomas feels like pitching himself off a roof, so instead he does something more dangerous. While he's undressing His Grace -- fool forgot his valet at home-- Thomas begins _really_ undressing him.

"Oh," the bloody duke says. "Well, I never like to halt enthusiasm. Continue."

The dead part of Thomas is still dead, Thomas knows, because otherwise it'd feel sick right now. But instead, Thomas does as he's told. He doesn't look up, even though he could. At least this one's handsome. But it never really works that way, does it? He chuckles to himself.

"Something funny, Barrow?"

Oh, so they're on a names basis, now? It occurs to Thomas he doesn't even _know_ the Duke's name. That's even funnier. Thomas doesn't laugh.

"Not at all, Your Grace." Thomas gets back to his business. This is an opportunity for change, at least. It never quite works out like he wants it-- he'd _like_ to be promoted based on skill with his hands, not with his tongue-- but maybe, if it all works out, he'll be able to live it down.


End file.
